deuces

i'm about to write in my other blog, so why not write here first to get warmed up a little!

I just watched Animal House for the first time... suppose it explains my Dad's life, but overall, I couldn't keep up with it... too many characters and I got kinda bored.

Perhaps that's because I was painting my nails while I watched...but they look good! Too bad they always get screwed up when I sleep.

Had a lovely walk in the wind today with my roomies. Needed some bonding time. Still weirdly quiet though :/

Watching millionaire matchmaker...crazy. Still can't resist. As great as a millionaire could be, I have much different needs these days :)

At lunch today, we started talking all about how kids are over-medicated and they can't get anything done.. then on my walk, we were talking about how the world could be like wall-e and how we can't live without our phones. That's why I'm excited about my life plan. Lots of sunshine in my kids' future (ok not that I'm planning that far in advance) but realistically I could be having kids in 3 years... thinking about kids because it's Halloween and they look so presh in costumes!!

okay time to write about walgreens.

bye bye

and i'm like.... ___ you and ___ you too

I'm in a shitty mood now. NO reason today had to be this way but sometimes interacting with people makes me angry. or sad. or whatever frustrating feeling I have right now.



student activities= frustrating. "professionals?" HA.



it's so immature to be posting your feelings all around facebook... so yep, this is what my online diary is for.



being disappointing makes me feel so crappy but then i never know how to react. do i just apologize and move on? i'm awful at the moving on, i like when everyone likes me. but i get so caught up in having everyone like me that i forget the ones who matter... like the ones who pay me. fml today, just f it, i should try laying down and waking up on the other side of the bed.



so much work this weekend. normally a good thing but not when i feel so crappy about everything.



spending more money tonight. woo hoo. fml. again. love one lady, end up paying so much. dammit.



i just feel like punching the computer screen.

i wonder sometimes about the outcome of this still verdictless life

am I living it right?

well I just typed this blog and it got deleted. so I'm feeling a little defeated. My resources are depleted. (yep, I'm a rappah now--SAMMY ADAMS)

I'm in the mood to snuggle but alas, I have to get dressed up-- last night of senior week interviews. We shall pick afterwards. VERY excited but so tough because we had SO MANY qualified people interview with us. Everyone will find their purpose though, back to EXCITED! 2011 baby!

Half the things I just wrote, I won't re-write because I just needed to get them out and even though nobody read them, it still feels nice to type them.

Next on the agenda, the job search paralyzation has hit-- I'm terrified. I feel like I'm qualified to do a job but don't know where or who would hire me. BLAH. Made me cry just thinking about it last night. Poor Johnny has to listen to my sobbing over no reason (and let's face it, I'm not moving to California so I can chill the eff out!)

I want chocolate :(

Already frustrated with my partner.

Although-- today-- didn't bite off the head of a particular friend who is making me want to bang my head on the wall. GREAT!

I feel like I have no homework, but I'm sooo not in the mood for art lately. OR picking courses for my last semester of senior year. I just want to curl up into a ball. Good thing grown-ups can snuggle too. and I'm really fortunate to have someone who makes me feel fantastic doing just that.

He knows the right things (most of the time) and that's an amazing feeling. I hope I'm not pushing it too hard. But my feet were rubbed, I get hugged, I don't know, I just crave that contact, so ya gotta give it to me!

I sound like a nut case. I miss people. The good people in the world.

Mama's bday is Sunday. yikes! so is an old friend's but we haven't talked in too long-- but I hope he knows he changed my life.

Now I'm spacing out.

Had a great day with my kitchen boys Gus & Marc making cuppycakes for Doyle's 21st. We're so old. but really, the people here take care of me and it's nice to know I can count on people, while still having fun. I just gotta remember that we have a professional relationship and I prob shouldn't freak out and turn on the waterworks at any time.


Why, Georgia, Why.

let the rain fall down, i'm coming clean

so i'm feeling a little bit antisocial... i think everyone is entitled to these days of reflection, especially since i have my smile turned on brightly every other moment of my life-- it's my job. Gotta fulfill all the duties as best I can.

Went out to lunch with Mama Cass today. I hate that I've essentially seen her once this entire school year. That's totally NOT okay. I just don't want to lose one of the most important people in my life.

I went shopping today. Drove all the way to Meriden, backroads, and on my way, I FOUND SONIC!!! I got a cherry limeade something-or-other with ice cream in it. Took them FOREVER to take my order and even longer to make. I was not thrilled, that's for sure.

I went to a bunch of random stores, on a quest for boots and Mommy's birthday gift... 0 for me, 3 for her. Chances are, she won't love any of them, but at least the thought was there and she can return things and get some money back. I also got Johnny the coolest present (okay not that cool but it's perfect in 3 ways) and I got myself a sweatshirt I've wanted but it was on sale, so woo hoo for sales.

On the way home, I also stopped to grab a vanilla chai from Dunkin. Keeps me running, that's for sure. Left me all warm and toasty. Unfortunately, I'm still feeling anti-social. I'd like to just go to a movie or something, get my snuggle on, you know? but we're having people over for a 21st birthday celebration. The roomies are pumped. Jello shots have been made-- sounds like a party, right?

Good thing for mindless TV- like That 70s Show.

I wish Police Women of Memphis was on though :(