four letter words

it's weird how i'll get the sudden urge to blog... at 1:22AM.

the word of the day is love. i can see it building and i can see it breaking. at least i think so... (on both accounts).

it's so hard to know what's the right thing to do. i love giving advice but it's so difficult sometimes. personal immediate happiness vs. longterm overall satisfaction? tough call, especially as "i want it now" college students. please, everything just work out because i LOVE you pal :)

and i feel bad being so happy when you're so sad. but i haven't felt this way in a LONG time. i almost feel untouchable, in a fantastic way. i can't wipe off my cheshire cat grin. and i held hands in public? what happened. maybe it's that word again. i don't want to freak anyone out but i see it as that feeling where you care enough about someone that your life would be distinctly different without them, and you'd be lacking. so that's how i feel. i probably won't say it, but neither will you... mostly because neither of us know when it's the right thing to do, IF it's the right thing to do, but it will make the vacation that much more meaningful... maybe. i just feel fantastic, honestly, so even if the vaca flops, i'll be okay. although at some point we should make strides... maybe. again, i'm so unsure, i just don't want to ruin anything. but i need to figure out my breaking point of trying to please others so that i never reach that point. breaking is BAD. helping is good. loving is great.

i love how these make no sense. although nobody reads my blog so i'm the only one who has to understand it! although the old lindsay still wonders if anyone cares... there's the emo kid in me!

i hope you tingle like i do baby. (hope like and baby... 3 four-letter words)

one song, glory

actually two songs of the moment.


FIRST:
"reaching for the phone 'cuz I can't fight it anymore
and I wonder if I ever cross your mind
for me it happens all the time.
it's a quarter after one, i'm all alone
and i need you now.
said i wouldn't call but i lost all control
and i need you now.
and i don't know how I can do without
I just need you now."
-Lady Antebellum

SECOND:
"last night's dream
we rode our bikes to our treehouse by the sea
and there we laid and said we'd never leave.
last night's dream
I promise you would have the whole world at your feet
and that we'd lay on a bed we made of leaves
and we both know you're everything i need"
-We the Kings

Yes, I know, varied music tastes, but all good and all emotion-packed fantastic songs.

it's a quarter after one, i'm a little drunk and i need you now

shalom readers... aka NADINE who is the only one who reads this!

I'm obsessed with Need You Now by Lady Antebellum, thank you Erin Webster :) I need to get the song on my iPod instead of youtubing it constantly.

I'm 20 minutes away from being caught up with FNL & Tim Riggins... but sidereel says I've watched too much today :( Then I get to watch some with J.Queezy, my ultra gangster boyfriend. Does that require a quarter in the jar if he's the hood one?

Went ice skating today, felt AMAZING. I want to go EVERY day. Wish there were lights at night and I wish I had a twin I could force to come with me so I don't fall in.

Didn't go to the Y today but ice skating counts, right? Gotta hit the gym tomorrow. Must put on a swimsuit Thursday so gotta tone up that jelly belly as Mr. Fraser would say (miss that guy and his Captain Crunches!) I need a personal trainer.

I'm jealous of Hummel's bracelet Jen made because it's so cool and I don't know how to do it! I tried to watch youtube vids but I'm out of string anyways so it's kinda pointless. I gotta figure it out before I go on the train so I can kill 4.5 hours!

PS, I heart Jen. I wish I met her long ago. We could've been bonding all this time! We didn't fall ice skating and that was fantastic. it was great to have a partner who's about the same skill level because that rarely happens for me at anything. Too bad she leaves tomorrow :(

I'm wearing running tights and loving them. Too bad they're not as flattering as they feel.

I'm watching a special on conjoined twins. EWWW. Thank god I'm healthy.

I'm nervous, excited, nervous, excited. ahhh. I'm hoping this adventure goes well. please let it go well. the other half doesn't seem to care but i'm pre-occupado. one friend already doesn't want to meet me. this is where my concerns come about because we have nothing in common and normally i just shrug that off but if i cant handle halo and staying up til 3, i'm gonna be rejected. instantly.

...please just let this go well. i want it to work, more than anything right now.

im watching extreme home makeover now. fantastic. housewives are on after! wish i was with my 412 ladies for that, won't lie.

darn snow. Katie was supposed to come visit but of course that didn't work out. Bummer bummer bummer. It's okay, we have months to go together! okay it will be fine.

I never know how personal I can get on my blog because I don't know if it gets read. I could bash or compliment my heart out because I bet nobody sees it! But then there's one chance someone cares about my life and it blows up.

I need to re-do my resume and start applying for jobs. Need money but need experience. Don't know what to do.

Mom made chicken and pasta and BROCCOLI for dinner! That's what I wish every night was like. I seriously need to get on a diet like this so my cool pants keep fitting. I'd be happy if I was a size 6 for the rest of my life. I know numbers shouldn't matter but 6 just feels so much better than 8 and it's the closest I'm getting in my adult life to feeling pretty. As soon as these bangs are gone...

oh hey, just gave away a car on tv. wish that could happen to me. yikes.

need a pedicure.

need lots of things.

happiness would be okay too. but i do love some material possessions as well...need a pretty outfit for january. maybe at the big mall? I just want to bond.

Gotta get back on a normal sleeping schedule because I have to be up at 7 to take mama to work so I can work out and do my errands. bahhhh. humbug.

I am the grinch sometimes.


Gotta readjust