four letter words

it's weird how i'll get the sudden urge to blog... at 1:22AM.

the word of the day is love. i can see it building and i can see it breaking. at least i think so... (on both accounts).

it's so hard to know what's the right thing to do. i love giving advice but it's so difficult sometimes. personal immediate happiness vs. longterm overall satisfaction? tough call, especially as "i want it now" college students. please, everything just work out because i LOVE you pal :)

and i feel bad being so happy when you're so sad. but i haven't felt this way in a LONG time. i almost feel untouchable, in a fantastic way. i can't wipe off my cheshire cat grin. and i held hands in public? what happened. maybe it's that word again. i don't want to freak anyone out but i see it as that feeling where you care enough about someone that your life would be distinctly different without them, and you'd be lacking. so that's how i feel. i probably won't say it, but neither will you... mostly because neither of us know when it's the right thing to do, IF it's the right thing to do, but it will make the vacation that much more meaningful... maybe. i just feel fantastic, honestly, so even if the vaca flops, i'll be okay. although at some point we should make strides... maybe. again, i'm so unsure, i just don't want to ruin anything. but i need to figure out my breaking point of trying to please others so that i never reach that point. breaking is BAD. helping is good. loving is great.

i love how these make no sense. although nobody reads my blog so i'm the only one who has to understand it! although the old lindsay still wonders if anyone cares... there's the emo kid in me!

i hope you tingle like i do baby. (hope like and baby... 3 four-letter words)